fbpx
Control What?

Control What?

If you’re like me I’m sure you’ve heard “control what you can control” a thousand times and rolled your eyes a bit and moved on. “What does that even mean when everything around me is out of my control,” is usually my next thought. My partner, Ashley, and I had this exact conversation today, which prompted this blog post. The stress level hit the roof, but not for reasons you might be thinking.

Flash Back 3 Months

A little back story, in January Ashely  became a full time artist. She left the safety of an everyday paycheck and chased her dream of working for herself. It was a few months after that it was becoming clear that I would be the sole owner of Icehouse. We were so excited, and then this crazy world wide thing happened, you might have heard of it, COVID-19. It was 2 days after I signed the paperwork to be the sole owner, that we shut the doors for an unknown amount of time. At this time, Ashely was making most of her money from in person workshops, things got really real.

The Social Distancing

We took a moment to celebrate and a day to panic.We sat down and made a plan of how can we stay as safe as possible. What are the things, that we as a family, are okay with and not okay with. After that day of panic and planning, I took a morning in my office at home with a cup of coffee and started writing. My perspective shifted. We have a plan that feels good, we have an opportunity to focus on careers we love doing, and we can still create and help people.

Feel All the Feelings

Ashley painted three really awesome paintings during this time and that lead to several painting orders. This should be a really exciting time, but it wasn’t.  With all the negative, and feelings of grief and fear, it can be really challenging to allow yourself to feel joy. As we talked more about this, we made the decision that we could feel happy. We can “control what we can control.” These are things like making paintings, busting our ass to create an Icehouse experience, innovating new ways to do business in a virtual world, working out and eating right, and the way we communicate with each other. We can shelter in place and still create, still be of service (one of our personal core values) and still allow ourselves to feel all of the feelings, which include joy and excitement.

If you are struggling with the feeling of being out of control, I challenge you to write down the things, in your world, that you can control. What are some ways you are feeling grateful? How can you continue to do the things you love? If you need help with this please reach out, these are the types of things my staff and I love to do. We love to help.

The B Word

The B Word

I’m just so BUSY!  I’m too BUSY!
Yeah…we all are.
Have you ever caught yourself responding the the “Hey how are you?” with “Good, but so busy!”  or just “Really busy”?  ?‍♀️Then following up by a conversation complaining with all of the things that are overwhelming you, and maybe even apologizing for all of the things you haven’t gotten to yet, or for not making those plans you were going to months ago? (I know I’ve been guilty of this!)
This is even more prevalent during the holiday season when you throw in holiday parties, events, shopping, decorating and all of those other little things that we add to our already overwhelmed “busy” selves.
BUSY is a Bad Word
We use the B word to justify our actions and feelings, but in all reality it is just a result of poor time management. If you find yourself complaining about being too B-Word to people who are important to you, then you need to apply some time management tricks to your schedule, not just your work schedule but to EVERYTHING you add to your plate.
I know this is easier said that done, so here are a few tips to get started.
Step 1: Remove the B-Word from your Vocabulary
For some reason, we wear the B-Word like a badge of honor.  We feel better for being busy, even if it’s not at all productive.  We feel super important that so many things are requiring our attention, so dropping a few balls is totally fine because at least you have all those extra balls your were juggling!  If one of your friends or family members is one of those dropped balls, it doesn’t feel so good…. so stop hiding behind that B-Word!
Step 2: Time Block Weekly
This topic comes up in our blogs over and over and over again because it is so important to being successful at anything we do.  Basic time management can start with a once a week time blocking session.  Pick a time of the week where you sit down for 20-30 min to plan out your entire week.  If you plan to do it, write it down or enter it into your calendar app (I’m a big fan of google calendar personally). As you say yes to more things make sure to add them in to the calendar.  If you said you’d bake cookies for your kids class, block the time to do it so you can see what you had to displace (if anything) to make it happen. I schedule everything from Meal prep, reading, workouts, eating, shopping, project work (I name the project I will be working on at that time so I don’t forget or get distracted), commuting, tv watching, and even downtime.  Once it is in my calendar it is all treated as an appointment, even if it is an appointment with myself.
Step 3: Prioritize
Once you have everything in your calendar, you may notice that you do not have enough hours in the day to get it all done.  Here is where we have to have those tough conversations with ourselves about what is truly important to us.  Be HONEST & REALISTIC with your commitments.  Don’t stack 2 tasks/appointments on top of each other in your calendar, odds are neither gets done that way.  Workouts/Wellness seem to be the first things that get the cut from calendars (which we for obvious reasons think is problematic with us being a gym and all ?).
When you see that you do not have time for whatever it is you need to add, simply

say to yourself out loud “I will not insert activity herebecause it is not a priority to me.” Now sit with that and see how it feels. If you feel ok about it, cool maybe you didn’t need it in your schedule to begin with!  If saying that feels crappy and you know you need to do that in order to feel better, take care of yourself, or whatever other reason then you will need to find a space for it in your calendar, which might mean displacing something else.  Maybe it was your 4 workouts a week, you said “I will not workout this week because it is not a priority” and that didn’t sit well.  Ok then where are 4 hours you can displace?  Do you need to go to that Happy Hour?  Do you need to make that Target run? Do you need to watch show on netflix? When you find items that really don’t serve you at all, take them out of the schedule!
Pro Tip: Most of us can find a few free hours if we take out the Netflix and Social Media Mindless Scrolling out of our days.  
So there you have the first steps to using your time more efficiently, and feeling good about how you spend your time.  Feel productive is so much more satisfying that just feeling B-Word!
So go ahead and apply these tips and let us know how it goes! And when Aunt Melicent asks how you are doing, you can say “I’ve had a lot of exciting things going on this year, let me tell you about on or two of them…”
Look at that! You are not to B-Word for meaningful conversation!
What It Takes To Be A Coach

What It Takes To Be A Coach

I truly believe coaching is an art form.

It’s not solely sets, reps and weight on the bar, there’s a personal connection. Coaching involves being able to connect with each person in every class.  In CrossFit, there are many different people in a class all with different goals and lifestyles. The art of coaching comes in one’s ability to connect with people. Good coaches can get their clients to move well consistently, great coaches can create an absolute level of trust with their athletes.

At Icehouse, we take coaching very seriously. Each week we have a coaches development meeting where we dive into topics like movement, empathy, relationships, and play. We talk about different personality types and how to evoke the best out of each of them. How do you coach an athlete whose goal it is to compete, right next to an athlete whose goal is to move well into their 90’s? These are the things that make a good CrossFit class turn into a great CrossFit class.

How we build a coach.

We have recently graduated 3 interns from our 9-week coaches development class. They learned the art of coaching from some of the best in the business through articles, podcasts videos, and books. We took that knowledge and spent a lot of quality time shadowing coaches and creating mock classes. These new coaches have taken both written and verbal tests, been put in front of several classes breaking down each section of class from warm-ups, skill development and the workout itself. They will still have several coaching reps before they are ready to coach a class fully on their own and they are well on their way.

Our Icehouse coaches spend hundreds of hours perfecting their craft. Once hired as a coach they continue to read books on lifestyle and relationships, listen to podcasts and spend countless hours analyzing movement. We stand by our coaches because they put in the work.  They are dedicated to making your CrossFit class, the best hour of your day. Come join us for a class and see what I’m talking about.

Change Your Words…Change Your Life

Change Your Words…Change Your Life

“Abracadabra!!”

If you’re like me, when you hear the word “abracadabra”, you think of magic, and you are absolutely right.  Abracadabra is magic, but not rabbits in top hats magic. Loosely translated from an ancient language, abracadabra means “with my words, I create”.  It makes sense, right? Magicians create those rabbits out of thin air using words and casting a spell, but guess what else? You create the person you are today as well as the person you will become tomorrow with the words that you use too.

We’ve talked a ton recently about reviewing your 2018 and planning your 2019, but we haven’t talked in depth about what words you’re using to frame those reviews and planning exercises.  That’s all about to change…

If you’ve watched any of Coach Sara’s videos about vision casting or read Coach Shoe’s blog about goal setting, you’ve probably heard the terms “affirmative language” or “Procabulary”.  What does that exactly mean?

Today I’m going to break down all things “Affirmative Language”.  We’ll talk about the intent of using affirmative language, then I’ll introduce 3 main obstacles to affirmative language, called “Conflict Language”, and finally, we talk about why it’s important to develop affirmative language in your everyday life.

What Exactly is Affirmative Language?

Affirmative language, at the heart, is designed to be an accurate way to describe events, actions, perceptions, feelings, emotions, so on and so forth….  Affirmative language takes out the judgement (both internal and external) surrounding an event, action, perception…also.  We are talking facts, just the facts.

Affirmative language decisively describes a desired outcome, where the speaker retains full individual power and responsibility for his or her actions, feelings, and emotions.  

What Detracts from Affirmative Language?  Conflict Language!

Negations – What You Don’t Want

Have you ever tried to coordinate dinner date with friends and heard the following, “I don’t want hamburgers tonight, and I’m not drinking beer either.”  How helpful is that when it comes to deciding where you do go for dinner? Negations explain everything about what a person doesn’t want, and describes nothing about what they do want.  

Projections “He/She Made Me..,”

Have you ever shared a coffee with a friend and heard something like, “He made me so mad; I just lost it.  I took off out of the parking lot and then got a speeding ticket all because my husband forgot that I had a hair appointment scheduled and couldn’t pick up the kids from daycare”.  That is an example of a projection. It completely removes all individual power and responsibility for an action, and gives it to an outside actor (person, place or thing).

Soft Talk – The Language of Indecision

Think about a time when you are being pressured into committing to a social event that you have no interest in attending.  Does this sound familiar…”Yeah, that’d be great! I think I’m free, but I might have something that my guy/gal has planned for me.  I’ve, sort of, thought about attending more events like this, and I kind of think it’s something that I should attend. I’ll get back to you.”  Honestly, what are the odds that you’ll be at that event?

Soft talk creates these “outs” for you, it gives you permission to be indecisive.  If you’re saying words that you don’t believe in at either a conscious or subconscious level, you’ll pepper in words similar to these when you talk or write:

  • Like; Kind of like
  • Sort of
  • Might, Maybe
  • Possibly; Perhaps
  • Someday; One Day
  • Should; Hope; Try

Why is Using Affirmative Language Important?

The way that you talk to yourself, literally, drives both your present and your future.  Of those conflict language examples above, how many of you have said one or all of those sentences, or some semblance of those sentences, to yourself?  What about the following sentences?

  • I don’t want to live like this
  • I don’t want to come home to a messy house
  • I don’t want to have to go to the store to buy a bigger sized pair of jeans
  • That driver had no idea what was going on, so I had to slam on my breaks
  • That guy at Costco was being so slow, so I couldn’t pick up the tomatoes I wanted
  • I should go to Icehouse consistently; maybe this week I’ll get my act together
  • I might give my old high school friends a call this week, we should get together more often than we do

If you change the words you use to frame an event, action, or feeling…it will completely change your perspective…Don’t believe me?  How do these sound?

  • I  live a life that I enjoy; I want to be able to leave my work at work and enjoy my family when I am home
  • I have a clean house, where the sink is clear and the floor is swept
  • I eat healthy and go to the gym so I can continue to wear the clothes that I have in my closet
  • I was following too close in traffic, so I slammed on my breaks to avoid a crash
  • I was feeling rushed and impatient at Costco, so I chose to pass on picking up tomatoes today
  • I value friendship so I’m sending out a message to get my friends together this week and blocking out a couple different times in my calendar for coffee.

And just like that, you change a few words and are able to see the same situation through a more accurate set of lenses.

How Do I Add This “One More Thing” to My Daily Life?

Look I get it, deciding what you want is difficult; saying what you want, out loud, is more difficult; writing down, on paper, what you want is even more difficult to do; then finding the right words, seriously???

Yep.

Change that order.  Change the words that you say to yourself first.  Start there. Once you’re out of conflict language and into affirmative language inside your own head, everything else falls into place.  

Don’t believe me?  Listen to someone far more experienced in life and compassion…

“Your beliefs become your thoughts.  Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions.  Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny” – Mahatma Gandhi

If you’re looking for more information on this, click on the link here and you can listen to the founder of Procabulary, Mark England, talk about, “Process versus Identity” and how changing the words you use to talk to yourself today will actually change your tomorrow.

Thanks for the read